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      1 <div class="wide64">
      2   <p>
      3     I dream of seeing the end of the fossil fuel age in my lifetime. I would
      4     love to play a role, however small, in helping to bring the era to a close.
      5     And to help the next one — the ecological age — off the ground.
      6     <br>
      7   </p>
      8   <p>
      9     But I acknowledge that in that mission at best there's irony, at worst,
     10     hypocrisy. It's unlikely someone with my background would exist in a world
     11     without petroleum. <a href="https://www.thomhartmann.com/blog/2007/11/last-hours-ancient-sunlight">Ancient sunlight</a> played the matchmaker in my parents' marriage.
     12   </p>
     13   <p>
     14     Unlike many immigrants, I've been lucky enough to return home throughout my
     15     life. I treasure the connection I've been able to maintain with my family.
     16     But I also realize it comes at a cost.
     17   </p>
     18   <p>
     19     It takes 150 trees a year to sequester the carbon from a flight from Newark
     20     to Shanghai. It takes a tree about 40 years to sequester a ton of carbon. A
     21     flight from NYC to London is about 1 ton. I wonder how much arctic ice has
     22     melted, how many <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/11/russian-islands-emergency-mass-invasion-polar-bears-novaya-zemlya">polar bear cubs have had to starve</a>,
     23     so that I could live this unnatural life, crisscrossing the globe like one
     24     my ancestors' deities.
     25   </p>
     26   <p>
     27     The ethical choice would be not to travel. At the very least to not travel
     28     so often. That would be better for the planet and most its inhabitants. The
     29     cost in that case would be personal, limited at most to my family. But so
     30     far, I have failed to muster the courage.
     31   </p>
     32   <p>
     33     In a sense, my travels "home" are days spent listening to sirens' song. The
     34     return ticket is the lash that binds me to the mast. The truth is that I am
     35     never home. Wherever I am, family, rhythms, the earliest memories, are
     36     somewhere else.
     37   </p>
     38   <p>
     39     And yet, there's the irresistible embrace of the song. The feeling of
     40     safety and belonging. The joy of returning to land, natural terrain; for
     41     even after all these years, New York City still feels a little like being
     42     at sea. A familiar ship at best, a fortress in the archipelago of Cyclopses
     43     and lotus eaters. But not home. Not Ithaca.
     44   </p>
     45   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190205T195842.jpg">
     46     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190205T195842.jpg">
     47   </a>
     48   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190205T174305.jpg">
     49     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190205T174305.jpg">
     50   </a>
     51   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T070449.jpg">
     52     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T070449.jpg">
     53   </a>
     54   <p>
     55     My last stay in Shanghai was in January and February of 2017, also for the
     56     Lunar New Year. Before that trip, I was absent for five years &#x2013;
     57     probably the longest span in my life so far. In 2017, I felt like I was
     58     reviving long lost memories; this year felt more like return to a natural
     59     rhythm.
     60   </p>
     61   <p>
     62     Winter still feels like an unusual time to be in China. Most of my memories
     63     of China are of summer. Besides 2017, my memories of China in winter are
     64     mainly from 2006-2007 (December and January), then maybe one or two visits
     65     as a child. One of my earliest childhood memories of China is setting of
     66     fireworks with my uncle Ju Gong (朱巨公), outside the old home on Li Shan Lu.
     67   </p>
     68   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T102651.jpg">
     69     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T102651.jpg">
     70   </a>
     71   <blockquote>
     72     <p>
     73       <i>Waiting for the tea lying pillowed in the breeze,</i>
     74       <i>Spring is in the voice now that the heart's at ease.</i>
     75     </p>
     76 
     77     <p>
     78       Journey to the West, Chapter 64.
     79     </p>
     80   </blockquote>
     81   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T162939.jpg">
     82     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T162939.jpg">
     83   </a>
     84   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T115448.jpg">
     85     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T115448.jpg">
     86   </a>
     87   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T175201.jpg">
     88     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T175201.jpg">
     89   </a>
     90   <p>
     91     I spent the majority of this stay within a 500 meter radius of the new
     92     apartment on Yan Chang Lu. Besides catching up with family, I spent some
     93     time on personal projects: getting this website up and running again (using
     94     <a href="https://orgmode.org/">org-mode</a>), learning <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emacs_Lisp">Emacs Lisp</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X86_assembly_language">x86 Assembly</a>, and catching up on some more practical reading (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Millionaire_Next_Door">The Millionaire Next Door</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Life_Changing_Magic_of_Tidying">The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up</a>). Once or twice a day I would
     95     take a walk in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhabei">ZhaBei</a>
     96     Park (闸北公园), to enjoy the scenery and think a little bit about life.
     97   </p>
     98   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T180027.jpg">
     99     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T180027.jpg">
    100   </a>
    101   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T170132.jpg">
    102     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T170132.jpg">
    103   </a>
    104   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T170504.jpg">
    105     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T170504.jpg">
    106   </a>
    107   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T172035.jpg">
    108     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T172035.jpg">
    109   </a>
    110   <p>
    111     Shanghai shuts down the week of the Lunar New Year. Nearly all of the local shops and restaurants were closed, and the streets were relatively empty, until about the last two days of my stay.
    112   </p>
    113   <p>
    114     Unlike 2017, I didn't bring my bicycle. For the most part I didn't miss it, as this was a more sedentary stay. In the long term, I will try to keep one in Shanghai. It's a great way to get around the city.
    115   </p>
    116   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190208T052925.jpg">
    117     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190208T052925.jpg">
    118   </a>
    119   <p>
    120     My alarm clock every morning was birdsong. A pleasant surprise, given the heavily urban setting.
    121   </p>
    122   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190208T071951.jpg">
    123     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190208T071951.jpg">
    124   </a>
    125   <p>
    126     This was my first time seeing snow in Shanghai. ZhaBei Park is visible from the apartment, and vice-versa.
    127   </p>
    128   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190209T140913.jpg">
    129     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190209T140913.jpg">
    130   </a>
    131   <video autoplay loop muted
    132          src="/static/media/dwrz_20190209T142546_720p.mp4" type="video/mp4">
    133     Your browser does not support video.
    134   </video>
    135   <p>
    136     Most of my family doesn't know how to play Mahjong, as it was banned, and stigmatized, during their youth.
    137   </p>
    138   <video controls>
    139     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190209T140220_edit.mp4"
    140 	    type="video/mp4">
    141     Your browser does not support video.
    142   </video>
    143   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T154420.jpg">
    144     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T154420.jpg">
    145   </a>
    146   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T154429.jpg">
    147     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T154429.jpg">
    148   </a>
    149   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T172452.jpg">
    150     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T172452.jpg">
    151   </a>
    152   <p>
    153     Authentic Chinese cuisine paints with a different palette. There are nuances of flavor that are hard to find abroad.
    154   </p>
    155   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz-20190210T124458.jpg">
    156     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz-20190210T124458.jpg">
    157   </a>
    158   <p>
    159     My grandfather and grandmother, with my cousin Zhu Yun.
    160   </p>
    161   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T125410.jpg">
    162     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T125410.jpg">
    163   </a>
    164   <p>
    165     My brother and I with my grandfather. August of 1999.
    166   </p>
    167   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T125837.jpg">
    168     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T125837.jpg">
    169   </a>
    170   <p>
    171     With my grandmother and cousin Zhu Wei Yi (Kim). August of 1997.
    172   </p>
    173   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T123606.jpg">
    174     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T123606.jpg">
    175   </a>
    176   <p>
    177     With my parents. August of 2003.
    178   </p>
    179   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T220450.jpg">
    180     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T220450.jpg">
    181   </a>
    182   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T111406.jpg">
    183     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T111406.jpg">
    184   </a>
    185   <p>
    186     Free dance class in ZhaBei park. These seemed to be offered multiple times
    187     a day, and were very popular with the elderly population.
    188   </p>
    189   <p>
    190     I was struck by how much of the community seemed to congregate in the park.
    191     Besides these classes, people practiced Tai Chi together, played Chinese
    192     chess and musical instruments, and sang in choruses. Others, like me,
    193     seemed to be happy to roam in the park, chat with friends, or meditate
    194     among the scenery.
    195   </p>
    196   <p>
    197     I struggle to think of a comparable community life in New York City.
    198     Someday, I hope I will live among elders that emanate the same health,
    199     contentment, and ease I saw in ZhaBei.
    200   </p>
    201   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T111537.jpg">
    202     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T111537.jpg">
    203   </a>
    204   <video controls>
    205     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190211T160813_edit.mp4" type="video/mp4">
    206     Your browser does not support video.
    207   </video>
    208   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112317.jpg">
    209     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112317.jpg">
    210   </a>
    211   <p>
    212     Sign placed above urinals in Zhabei Park's mens restroom. There is a lot to
    213     the Chinese regime, and its history, that is dark. The lingering spirit of
    214     collaboration and social camaraderie still manages to shine through.
    215   </p>
    216   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112925.jpg">
    217     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112925.jpg">
    218   </a>
    219   <p>
    220     This machine, widely used, another example.
    221   </p>
    222   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112939.jpg">
    223     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112939.jpg">
    224   </a>
    225   <p>
    226     Perhaps, if we had more PM 2.5 displays, worldwide, more people would be
    227     able to quantify the value of environmental contexts.
    228   </p>
    229   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T113930.jpg">
    230     <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T113930.jpg"
    231   </a>
    232   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T153903.jpg">
    233     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T153903.jpg">
    234   </a>
    235   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T162500.jpg">
    236     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T162500.jpg">
    237   </a>
    238   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190212T104711.jpg">
    239     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190212T104711.jpg">
    240   </a>
    241   <p>
    242     At the local market, vendors are now using Alipay. You scan the QR code to
    243     place your payment. Two years ago, it was still cash. Perhaps more slowly
    244     now, but still the signs are of a nation ascendant.
    245   </p>
    246   <p>
    247     Also heartening was the strong presence of small businesses in my
    248     neighborhood. This made me note the difference in the application of
    249     technology. Supporting small businesses instead of a monolithic retailer.
    250     The flourishing of the just as convenient as the latter, without the
    251     resulting social ills.
    252   </p>
    253   <a href="/static/media/1920/ylj_20190212T180734.jpg">
    254     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/ylj_20190212T180734.jpg">
    255   </a>
    256   <p>
    257     With my uncle, Zhu Ju Qi, and my nephew &#x2013; my cousin Zhu Yun's son.
    258   </p>
    259   <a href="/static/media/1920/ylj_20190212T180644.jpg">
    260     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/ylj_20190212T180644.jpg">
    261   </a>
    262   <p>
    263     My niece, HuiHui, my cousin Lin Sen's daughter.
    264   </p>
    265   <a href="/static/media/1920/zy_20190212T202404.jpg">
    266     <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/zy_20190212T202404.jpg">
    267   </a>
    268   <p>
    269     With my aunt's, uncle Zhu Ju Gong, and cousin Zhu Yun, at the Gondelin
    270     Vegetarian Restaurant on Nan Jing Lu.
    271   </p>
    272   <video controls>
    273     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T113726_edit.mp4"
    274 	    type="video/mp4">
    275     Your browser does not support video.
    276   </video>
    277   <video controls>
    278     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T171353_edit.mp4"
    279 	    type="video/mp4">
    280     Your browser does not support video.
    281   </video>
    282   <video controls>
    283     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T171856_edit.mp4"
    284 	    type="video/mp4">
    285     Your browser does not support video.
    286   </video>
    287   <p>
    288     I love Chinese gardens. They are fractal, meandering, varied, harmoniously
    289     integrating human needs with natural patterns. The nooks and crannies
    290     offering private, intimate space. It's the kind of setting I would love to
    291     work in, every day.
    292   </p>
    293   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T113948.jpg">
    294     <img class="img-center"
    295          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T113948.jpg">
    296   </a>
    297   <blockquote>
    298     <p>
    299       <i>In the bamboo grove I delight wise kings;</i>
    300       <br>
    301       <i>A hundred acres of me by the Wei brings fame.</i>
    302       <br>
    303       <i>My green skin is naturally marked by the tears of the Xiang Goddess;</i>
    304       <br>
    305       <i>My scaly shoots pass on the scent of history.</i>
    306       <br>
    307       <i>My leaves will never change their color in frost;</i>
    308       <br>
    309       <i>The beauty of my misty twigs can never be concealed.</i>
    310       <br>
    311       <i>Few have understood me since the death of Wang Huizhi;</i>
    312       <br>
    313       <i>Since ancient times I have been known through brush and ink.</i>
    314       <br>
    315       <br>
    316       Journey to the West, Chapter 64.
    317     </p>
    318   </blockquote>
    319   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T165429.jpg">
    320     <img class="img-center"
    321          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T165429.jpg">
    322   </a>
    323   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T170021.jpg">
    324     <img class="img-center"
    325          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T170021.jpg">
    326   </a>
    327   <p>
    328     There seems to be a healthy, thriving community of community cats in the
    329     neighborhood, fed by volunteers. Unfortunately, the vast majority of them
    330     do not appear to be spayed.
    331   </p>
    332   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T170617.jpg">
    333     <img class="img-center"
    334          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T170617.jpg">
    335   </a>
    336   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T171237.jpg">
    337     <img class="img-center"
    338          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T171237.jpg">
    339   </a>
    340   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T124011.jpg">
    341     <img class="img-center"
    342          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T124011.jpg">
    343   </a>
    344   <p>
    345     The Song Yuan teahouse outside ZhaBei Park.
    346   </p>
    347   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T112852.jpg">
    348     <img class="img-center"
    349          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T112852.jpg">
    350   </a>
    351   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T173920.jpg">
    352     <img class="img-center"
    353          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T173920.jpg">
    354   </a>
    355   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T192724.jpg">
    356     <img class="img-center"
    357          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T192724.jpg">
    358   </a>
    359   <video controls>
    360     <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190214T162515_edit.mp4"
    361 	    type="video/mp4">
    362     Your browser does not support video.
    363   </video>
    364   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T163432.jpg">
    365     <img class="img-center"
    366          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T163432.jpg">
    367   </a>
    368   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T164630.jpg">
    369     <img class="img-center"
    370          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T164630.jpg">
    371   </a>
    372   <p>
    373     The aparment, seen from ZhaBei Park.
    374   </p>
    375   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T190048.jpg">
    376     <img class="img-center"
    377          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T190048.jpg">
    378   </a>
    379   <p>
    380     The last dinner before departure, again at the Song Yuan teahouse. The
    381     dinner, was 120 RMB, i.e., less than 20 USD. We had leftovers, and a free
    382     rice pudding desert was included with the meal.
    383   </p>
    384   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T193818.jpg">
    385     <img class="img-center"
    386          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T193818.jpg">
    387   </a>
    388   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T211323.jpg">
    389     <img class="img-center"
    390          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T211323.jpg">
    391   </a>
    392   <p>
    393     All packed up. If I close my eyes now, thousands of miles away, I can still
    394     feel as if I'm there. In the weeks after a return home, the mind struggles
    395     to tell which is real, and which is the dream. The reality on return is
    396     familiar, but a sudden shift from something that felt just as real.
    397   </p>
    398   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T232759.jpg">
    399     <img class="img-center"
    400          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T232759.jpg">
    401   </a>
    402   <p>
    403     On the way to the airport, heartbroken but grateful.
    404   </p>
    405   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190215T090530.jpg">
    406     <img class="img-center"
    407          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190215T090530.jpg">
    408   </a>
    409   <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190215T054134.jpg">
    410     <img class="img-center"
    411          src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190215T054134.jpg">
    412   </a>
    413   <p>
    414     Recollection is the only way the immigrant can ever be at home — in
    415     more than one place at the same time.
    416   </p>
    417 </div>