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      1 <p>
      2   I dream of seeing the end of the fossil fuel age in my lifetime. I would love to play a role, however small, in helping to bring the era to a close. And to help the next one &#x2013; the ecological age &#x2013; off the ground.<br>
      3 </p>
      4 
      5 <p>
      6   But I acknowledge that in that mission at best there's irony, at worst, hypocrisy. It's unlikely someone with my background would exist in a world without petroleum. <a href="https://www.thomhartmann.com/blog/2007/11/last-hours-ancient-sunlight">Ancient sunlight</a> played the matchmaker in my parents' marriage.<br>
      7 </p>
      8 
      9 <p>
     10   Unlike many immigrants, I've been lucky enough to return home throughout my life. I treasure the connection I've been able to maintain with my family. But I also realize it comes at a cost.<br>
     11 </p>
     12 
     13 <p>
     14   It takes 150 trees a year to sequester the carbon from a flight from Newark to Shanghai. It takes a tree about 40 years to sequester a ton of carbon. A flight from NYC to London is about 1 ton. I wonder how much arctic ice has melted, how many <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/feb/11/russian-islands-emergency-mass-invasion-polar-bears-novaya-zemlya">polar bear cubs have had to starve</a>, so that I could live this unnatural life, crisscrossing the globe like one my ancestors' deities.<br>
     15 </p>
     16 
     17 <p>
     18   The ethical choice would be not to travel. At the very least to not travel so often. That would be better for the planet and most its inhabitants. The cost in that case would be personal, limited at most to my family. But so far, I have failed to muster the courage.<br>
     19 </p>
     20 
     21 <p>
     22   In a sense, my travels "home" are days spent listening to sirens' song. The return ticket is the lash that binds me to the mast. The truth is that I am never home. Wherever I am, family, rhythms, the earliest memories, are somewhere else.<br>
     23 </p>
     24 
     25 <p>
     26   And yet, there's the irresistible embrace of the song. The feeling of safety and belonging. The joy of returning to land, natural terrain; for even after all these years, New York City still feels a little like being at sea. A familiar ship at best, a fortress in the archipelago of Cyclopses and lotus eaters. But not home. Not Ithaca.<br>
     27 </p>
     28 
     29 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190205T195842.jpg">
     30   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190205T195842.jpg">
     31 </a>
     32 
     33 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190205T174305.jpg">
     34   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190205T174305.jpg">
     35 </a>
     36 
     37 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T070449.jpg">
     38   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T070449.jpg">
     39 </a>
     40 
     41 <p>
     42   My last stay in Shanghai was in January and February of 2017, also for the Lunar New Year. Before that trip, I was absent for five years &#x2013; probably the longest span in my life so far. In 2017, I felt like I was reviving long lost memories; this year felt more like return to a natural rhythm.<br>
     43 </p>
     44 
     45 <p>
     46   Winter still feels like an unusual time to be in China. Most of my memories of China are of summer. Besides 2017, my memories of China in winter are mainly from 2006-2007 (December and January), then maybe one or two visits as a child. One of my earliest childhood memories of China is setting of fireworks with my uncle Ju Gong (朱巨公), outside the old home on Li Shan Lu.<br>
     47 </p>
     48 
     49 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T102651.jpg">
     50   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T102651.jpg">
     51 </a>
     52 
     53 <blockquote>
     54   <p>
     55     <i>Waiting for the tea lying pillowed in the breeze,</i>
     56     <br>
     57     <i>Spring is in the voice now that the heart's at ease.</i>
     58     <br>
     59   </p>
     60 
     61   <p>
     62     Journey to the West, Chapter 64.<br>
     63   </p>
     64 </blockquote>
     65 
     66 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T162939.jpg">
     67   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T162939.jpg">
     68 </a>
     69 
     70 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190206T115448.jpg">
     71   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190206T115448.jpg">
     72 </a>
     73 
     74 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T175201.jpg">
     75   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T175201.jpg">
     76 </a>
     77 
     78 <p>
     79   I spent the majority of this stay within a 500 meter radius of the new apartment on Yan Chang Lu. Besides catching up with family, I spent some time on personal projects: getting this website up and running again (using <a href="https://orgmode.org/">org-mode</a>), learning <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emacs_Lisp">Emacs Lisp</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X86_assembly_language">x86 Assembly</a>, and catching up on some more practical reading (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Millionaire_Next_Door">The Millionaire Next Door</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Life_Changing_Magic_of_Tidying">The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up</a>). Once or twice a day I would take a walk in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhabei">ZhaBei</a> Park (闸北公园), to enjoy the scenery and think a little bit about life.<br>
     80 </p>
     81 
     82 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T180027.jpg">
     83   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T180027.jpg">
     84 </a>
     85 
     86 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T170132.jpg">
     87   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T170132.jpg">
     88 </a>
     89 
     90 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T170504.jpg">
     91   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T170504.jpg">
     92 </a>
     93 
     94 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190207T172035.jpg">
     95   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190207T172035.jpg">
     96 </a>
     97 
     98 <p>
     99   Shanghai shuts down the week of the Lunar New Year. Nearly all of the local shops and restaurants were closed, and the streets were relatively empty, until about the last two days of my stay.<br>
    100 </p>
    101 
    102 <p>
    103   Unlike 2017, I didn't bring my bicycle. For the most part I didn't miss it, as this was a more sedentary stay. In the long term, I will try to keep one in Shanghai. It's a great way to get around the city.<br>
    104 </p>
    105 
    106 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190208T052925.jpg">
    107   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190208T052925.jpg">
    108 </a>
    109 
    110 <p>
    111   My alarm clock every morning was birdsong. A pleasant surprise, given the heavily urban setting.<br>
    112 </p>
    113 
    114 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190208T071951.jpg">
    115   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190208T071951.jpg">
    116 </a>
    117 
    118 <p>
    119   This was my first time seeing snow in Shanghai. ZhaBei Park is visible from the apartment, and vice-versa.<br>
    120 </p>
    121 
    122 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190209T140913.jpg">
    123   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190209T140913.jpg">
    124 </a>
    125 
    126 <video autoplay loop muted
    127        src="/static/media/dwrz_20190209T142546_720p.mp4" type="video/mp4">
    128   Your browser does not support video.
    129 </video>
    130 
    131 <p>
    132   Most of my family doesn't know how to play Mahjong, as it was banned, and stigmatized, during their youth.<br>
    133 </p>
    134 
    135 <video controls>
    136   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190209T140220_edit.mp4"
    137 	  type="video/mp4">
    138   Your browser does not support video.
    139 </video>
    140 
    141 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T154420.jpg">
    142   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T154420.jpg">
    143 </a>
    144 
    145 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T154429.jpg">
    146   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T154429.jpg">
    147 </a>
    148 
    149 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T172452.jpg">
    150   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T172452.jpg">
    151 </a>
    152 
    153 <p>
    154   Authentic Chinese cuisine paints with a different palette. There are nuances of flavor that are hard to find abroad.<br>
    155 </p>
    156 
    157 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz-20190210T124458.jpg">
    158   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz-20190210T124458.jpg">
    159 </a>
    160 
    161 <p>
    162   My grandfather and grandmother, with my cousin Zhu Yun.<br>
    163 </p>
    164 
    165 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T125410.jpg">
    166   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T125410.jpg">
    167 </a>
    168 
    169 <p>
    170   My brother and I with my grandfather. August of 1999.<br>
    171 </p>
    172 
    173 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T125837.jpg">
    174   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T125837.jpg">
    175 </a>
    176 
    177 <p>
    178   With my grandmother and cousin Zhu Wei Yi (Kim). August of 1997.<br>
    179 </p>
    180 
    181 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T123606.jpg">
    182   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T123606.jpg">
    183 </a>
    184 
    185 <p>
    186   With my parents. August of 2003.<br>
    187 </p>
    188 
    189 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190210T220450.jpg">
    190   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190210T220450.jpg">
    191 </a>
    192 
    193 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T111406.jpg">
    194   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T111406.jpg">
    195 </a>
    196 
    197 <p>
    198   Free dance class in ZhaBei park. These seemed to be offered multiple times a day, and were very popular with the elderly population.<br>
    199 </p>
    200 
    201 <p>
    202   I was struck by how much of the community seemed to congregate in the park. Besides these classes, people practiced Tai Chi together, played Chinese chess and musical instruments, and sang in choruses. Others, like me, seemed to be happy to roam in the park, chat with friends, or meditate among the scenery.<br>
    203 </p>
    204 
    205 <p>
    206   I struggle to think of a comparable community life in New York City. Someday, I hope I will live among elders that emanate the same health, contentment, and ease I saw in ZhaBei.<br>
    207 </p>
    208 
    209 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T111537.jpg">
    210   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T111537.jpg">
    211 </a>
    212 
    213 <video controls>
    214   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190211T160813_edit.mp4" type="video/mp4">
    215   Your browser does not support video.
    216 </video>
    217 
    218 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112317.jpg">
    219   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112317.jpg">
    220 </a>
    221 
    222 <p>
    223   Sign placed above urinals in Zhabei Park's mens restroom. There is a lot to the Chinese regime, and its history, that is dark. The lingering spirit of collaboration and social camaraderie still manages to shine through.<br>
    224 </p>
    225 
    226 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112925.jpg">
    227   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112925.jpg">
    228 </a>
    229 
    230 <p>
    231   This machine, widely used, another example.<br>
    232 </p>
    233 
    234 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T112939.jpg">
    235   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T112939.jpg">
    236 </a>
    237 
    238 <p>
    239   Perhaps, if we had more PM 2.5 displays, worldwide, more people would be able to quantify the value of environmental contexts.<br>
    240 </p>
    241 
    242 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T113930.jpg">
    243   <img class ="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T113930.jpg"
    244 </a>
    245 
    246 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T153903.jpg">
    247   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T153903.jpg">
    248 </a>
    249 
    250 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190211T162500.jpg">
    251   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190211T162500.jpg">
    252 </a>
    253 
    254 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190212T104711.jpg">
    255   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190212T104711.jpg">
    256 </a>
    257 
    258 <p>
    259   At the local market, vendors are now using Alipay. You scan the QR code to place your payment. Two years ago, it was still cash. Perhaps more slowly now, but still the signs are of a nation ascendant.<br>
    260 </p>
    261 
    262 <p>
    263   Also heartening was the strong presence of small businesses in my neighborhood. This made me note the difference in the application of technology. Supporting small businesses instead of a monolithic retailer. The flourishing of the just as convenient as the latter, without the resulting social ills.<br>
    264 </p>
    265 
    266 <a href="/static/media/1920/ylj_20190212T180734.jpg">
    267   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/ylj_20190212T180734.jpg">
    268 </a>
    269 
    270 <p>
    271   With my uncle, Zhu Ju Qi, and my nephew &#x2013; my cousin Zhu Yun's son.<br>
    272 </p>
    273 
    274 <a href="/static/media/1920/ylj_20190212T180644.jpg">
    275   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/ylj_20190212T180644.jpg">
    276 </a>
    277 
    278 <p>
    279   My niece, HuiHui, my cousin Lin Sen's daughter.<br>
    280 </p>
    281 
    282 <a href="/static/media/1920/zy_20190212T202404.jpg">
    283   <img class="img-center" src="/static/media/720/zy_20190212T202404.jpg">
    284 </a>
    285 
    286 <p>
    287   With my aunt's, uncle Zhu Ju Gong, and cousin Zhu Yun, at the Gondelin Vegetarian Restaurant on Nan Jing Lu.<br>
    288 </p>
    289 
    290 <video controls>
    291   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T113726_edit.mp4"
    292 	  type="video/mp4">
    293   Your browser does not support video.
    294 </video>
    295 
    296 <video controls>
    297   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T171353_edit.mp4"
    298 	  type="video/mp4">
    299   Your browser does not support video.
    300 </video>
    301 
    302 <video controls>
    303   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190213T171856_edit.mp4"
    304 	  type="video/mp4">
    305   Your browser does not support video.
    306 </video>
    307 
    308 <p>
    309   I love Chinese gardens. They are fractal, meandering, varied, harmoniously integrating human needs with natural patterns. The nooks and crannies offering private, intimate space. It's the kind of setting I would love to work in, every day.<br>
    310 </p>
    311 
    312 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T113948.jpg">
    313   <img class="img-center"
    314        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T113948.jpg">
    315 </a>
    316 
    317 <blockquote>
    318   <p>
    319     <i>In the bamboo grove I delight wise kings;</i>
    320     <br>
    321     <i>A hundred acres of me by the Wei brings fame.</i>
    322     <br>
    323     <i>My green skin is naturally marked by the tears of the Xiang Goddess;</i>
    324     <br>
    325     <i>My scaly shoots pass on the scent of history.</i>
    326     <br>
    327     <i>My leaves will never change their color in frost;</i>
    328     <br>
    329     <i>The beauty of my misty twigs can never be concealed.</i>
    330     <br>
    331     <i>Few have understood me since the death of Wang Huizhi;</i>
    332     <br>
    333     <i>Since ancient times I have been known through brush and ink.</i>
    334     <br>
    335   </p>
    336 
    337   <p>
    338     Journey to the West, Chapter 64.<br>
    339   </p>
    340 </blockquote>
    341 
    342 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T165429.jpg">
    343   <img class="img-center"
    344        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T165429.jpg">
    345 </a>
    346 
    347 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T170021.jpg">
    348   <img class="img-center"
    349        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T170021.jpg">
    350 </a>
    351 
    352 <p>
    353   There seems to be a healthy, thriving community of community cats in the neighborhood, fed by volunteers. Unfortunately, the vast majority of them do not appear to be spayed.<br>
    354 </p>
    355 
    356 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T170617.jpg">
    357   <img class="img-center"
    358        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T170617.jpg">
    359 </a>
    360 
    361 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T171237.jpg">
    362   <img class="img-center"
    363        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T171237.jpg">
    364 </a>
    365 
    366 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T124011.jpg">
    367   <img class="img-center"
    368        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T124011.jpg">
    369 </a>
    370 
    371 <p>
    372   The Song Yuan teahouse outside ZhaBei Park.<br>
    373 </p>
    374 
    375 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T112852.jpg">
    376   <img class="img-center"
    377        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T112852.jpg">
    378 </a>
    379 
    380 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T173920.jpg">
    381   <img class="img-center"
    382        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T173920.jpg">
    383 </a>
    384 
    385 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190213T192724.jpg">
    386   <img class="img-center"
    387        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190213T192724.jpg">
    388 </a>
    389 
    390 <video controls>
    391   <source src="/static/media/dwrz_20190214T162515_edit.mp4"
    392 	  type="video/mp4">
    393   Your browser does not support video.
    394 </video>
    395 
    396 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T163432.jpg">
    397   <img class="img-center"
    398        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T163432.jpg">
    399 </a>
    400 
    401 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T164630.jpg">
    402   <img class="img-center"
    403        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T164630.jpg">
    404 </a>
    405 
    406 <p>
    407   The aparment, seen from ZhaBei Park.<br>
    408 </p>
    409 
    410 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T190048.jpg">
    411   <img class="img-center"
    412        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T190048.jpg">
    413 </a>
    414 
    415 <p>
    416   The last dinner before departure, again at the Song Yuan teahouse. The dinner, was 120 RMB, i.e., less than 20 USD. We had leftovers, and a free rice pudding desert was included with the meal.<br>
    417 </p>
    418 
    419 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T193818.jpg">
    420   <img class="img-center"
    421        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T193818.jpg">
    422 </a>
    423 
    424 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T211323.jpg">
    425   <img class="img-center"
    426        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T211323.jpg">
    427 </a>
    428 
    429 <p>
    430   All packed up. If I close my eyes now, thousands of miles away, I can still feel as if I'm there. In the weeks after a return home, the mind struggles to tell which is real, and which is the dream. The reality on return is familiar, but a sudden shift from something that felt just as real.<br>
    431 </p>
    432 
    433 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190214T232759.jpg">
    434   <img class="img-center"
    435        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190214T232759.jpg">
    436 </a>
    437 
    438 <p>
    439   On the way to the airport, heartbroken but grateful.<br>
    440 </p>
    441 
    442 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190215T090530.jpg">
    443   <img class="img-center"
    444        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190215T090530.jpg">
    445 </a>
    446 
    447 <a href="/static/media/1920/dwrz_20190215T054134.jpg">
    448   <img class="img-center"
    449        src="/static/media/720/dwrz_20190215T054134.jpg">
    450 </a>
    451 
    452 <p>
    453   Recollection is the only way the immigrant can ever be at home &#x2013; in more than one place at the same time.<br>
    454 </p>